As the sun rises so do the Angus Angels readying themselves to take on Back 2 The Trenches ‘No Mans Land’ mud run.
Angus Angels are an elite team of glamorous, gorgeous and highly skilled hosts in London’s Angus Steakhouses. And yet here they are … Lining up on this bright brisk morning, whilst a fierce looking army sergeant barks orders at them! They don’t flinch – despite appearances these girls are pretty gritty!
With a mix of apprehension and adrenalin they clambour into the trench waiting for the whistle! Ismail, one of the management team, is first out as he hurtles headlong directly into the stretched wire, splitting his nose open in the process. But even the copious amounts of spurting blood don’t deter the girls.
They then jog carelessly through the sun kissed field and wade through the water trench blissfully unaware of what lies ahead.
It’s not until they see the series of mud trenches that reality dawns. The thick mud pits suck the team down threatening to steal trainers. Poor Lodovica is stuck … Just stuck unable to move backwards or forwards! Sure enough, teamwork kicks in at its finest as they manage to extract each other from the mud and otherwise pull, push or hurl each other from one pit to the next.
One of the team offers a ‘leg up’ to Carolina which seemed like a good idea until she is sent face first into the next mud pit! Too late to avoid a mud mask, Ismail follows quickly behind!
Michael and Pritam gallantly stand in readiness at the top of the pits, pulling each of the girls up with obvious ease. That is until the MD stretches out her hand. It would be fair to say she is slightly larger and the two boys being unable to retreat had no option than to try their best to haul her out also. The first attempt almost results in them both being dragged back in. Knowing their jobs may be on the line, they dig deep, summoning all their strength and finally manage to pull her, sprawling, out of the pit. Then they run – far and fast! Very wise!
Safely across the first real obstacle the girls settle into an easy pace chatting as they run through the countryside. The management team chaperone the girls offering help where needed … Or accepting it depending on the obstacle!
As an opening appears in the forest, the team glimpse the next obstacle and approach with trepidation. A large cold murky muddy puddle with telegraph poles hovering inches above the water sets fear into the most hardened trooper. ‘Under … not over’ shouts the marshal as one brave soul tries their luck!
One by one the girls sink down into the mud with just their beautiful rouged lips and long lashed eyes above the water line. The bottom of the puddle is formed of sharp grit which tears into their knees and elbows as they crawl forward.
Michael, with mild hysteria exclaims ‘PIGS! You were all pigs in a previous life! How can you all be like being covered in mud’ and in a moment of suicidal madness he grabs the face of the MD with his muddy hands! It would appear that Michael found some sort of second wind at that moment as he suddenly sped of around the course not to be seen again until the end?
A quick water stop gave everyone chance to rehydrate and wash their hands and clean up. Well what else would you expect from the Angels?
One of the highlights of the race was fast approaching …. A hundred foot long water slide made from stretched black tarpaulin with a marshal spraying a hose and squirting fairy liquid to make the troopers go faster! Ha – the girls laugh as such cheap tricks. With a photogrpaher half way down there is no way they are going to get caught in an ungainly pose! Each Angel takes stock stock of the situation, positions themselves carefully and gracefully sets off set off flashing a beaming smile at the photographer in the process.
I am sure this was the most elegant descent of troopers Back to The Trenches have ever seen … That is until it came to Tim.
Tim, the company training and recruitment manager hurls himself from the top, waving his arms in the air! Consequently, he hits a bump, takes off and rolls, spins and bounces head over heels nearly taking out several of the girls on the way! They merely roll their eyes …. Boys!
The car park is in sight – is this the homeward straight? There is a set of tyres ahead and high rails to climb. This could be the last obstacle?
Ever helpful Tim peers through the gap in the tyres and grabs each emerging hand and yanks through each host one by one, dumping them on the ground in favour of the next. Again, they just roll there eyes!
In a cruel twist, the course doubles back and presents a zig zag of hill climbs and descents with a flaming fire pit to leap at the top followed by the electric wires.
These lovely ladies simply rolled up their sleeves and slithered stealthily under the wires without getting a hair out of place. That is except Danguole, who raised her bottom to high and at the shock of reviecing a crack on her backside raised her head only to receive second zap. This sent her into a fit of non stop giggles which continued for the remainder of the course.
‘Wave your hands in the air’ shouts Vance as the girls approach the second water slide. At the bottom of this water slide is a pool of stinking dirty cow poo water!
Despite best efforts, this slide dumps everyone in the foul smelling water. Everyone that is except Natalya who somehow manages to remain clean. Tim, in typical flirty boy fashion decides now is his chance to get hands on as he wrestles with the lovely Natalya … All under the guise of trying to dunk her in of course! More eye rolling … As the girls wonder why we bother to bring the guys.
The catwalk commences towards a solid wooden wall which Daria leaps in one bound but then gets stuck at the other side. The girls scream for Tim to catch her but his head is in the clouds as he leaves her dangling. Diana springs to the rescue grabbing Daria’s buttocks and sliding her down the wooden wall!
Embarrassing situations abound on the No Mans Land course. As Diana crosses the slack line, her hanging balance leg starts to jump and she’s in danger of falling of. The obvious solution is to cling on for dear life and close your eyes! Natalya comes to the rescue as she grabs Diana’s balance leg and in a cross between carrying and dragging, manages to get her across depositing her smack in the centre of a tractor tyre.
Danguole, Maria and Daria are all none swimmers but they aren’t going to fail at the last obstacle! A glint in their eyes appears as they finally realise why they have brought the boys … It’s to carry them across!
Danguole, wraps her arms tightly around Pritams neck although this doesn’t stop he shaking uncontrollably. Pritam, enjoying the ‘hug’ from the gorgeous Danguole, takes his time!
The finish is just a few straw bale leaps ahead but the girls are tired, cold and wet. These last few hurdles will take every bit of stamina to complete.
Smiles and laughter abound as everyone crosses the finish line to receive their medals! But despite being muddy and exhausted, everyone is elated. What an incredible achievement – to complete this demanding mud run and still look amazing! I am in awe of you all! Well done!
Massive thanks to Danguole for arranging this inspiring and motivational day!
If anyone would like to join the team of hosts please email Tim Tim.email@example.com or text / whatsapp on 07818 594870
‘All too often the hosts perfectly coiffured appearance hides the fact that these lovely ladies are not only the ambassadors of the business but also the gatekeepers ensuring that the families and guests dining in the restaurant are not bothered by the late night revellers or seedy west end characters. They often have a difficult job which requires diplomacy, confidence and skill. These girls are gorgeous and tough and a credit to the company. It was a pleasure to see them develop as a team and undertake this challenging task today. Well done all.’
Managing Director – Alexa Reid